JFK vs Caesar



JFK vs Caesar is the second installment of Overrated Rap Battles of Undetermined Quality (Oh God That Title Is Absurdly Long) and the second episode of Season 1. It features the last leader of the Roman Republic, Julius Caesar, and John F. Kennedy, great and young United States president in assassinated leader of Ancient Rome against assassinated leader of New Rome. It was released on January 30th, 2015.

Julius Caesar:
Stand back, fellow Romans! I myself shall take this pleb.

Let the legions of legend watch their leader leave him dead!

But that's enough said! Now it's off with 50 Cent’s head!

Like the Bay of Pigs, this is an invasion you'll regret.

Call me a Japanese destroyer, 'cuz I'll slice you to bits!

My lyrical missiles'll put you in another crisis!

I heard you Came-a-lot with Ms. Monroe, but not your wife.

Let me Marc your loss on the calendar. I'll circle July.

John F. Kennedy:
My fellow Americans, my opponent here was power hungry.

Did he not learn that it’s what you do for your country?

I lead my country with kindness, you lead on Broadway with malice!

Now you’re only famous for a backstab and a lousy salad.

Speakin’ of a way with broads, I’ll seek your Cleo and seize her.

So that Caesar has a seizure when upon her knees he sees her.

You never even took office, Julie. I'm the real deal.

Peace be with your bloodied Corps, my victory is SEALed!

Julius Caesar:
I've dealt with pirates before, Jack. Think I'm surrendering?

Once I charge with full Brute-us force, there's no relenting.

E pluribus unum, and I'm the OG God of Rome!

While your fame comes from faking moon landing vids at home!

Such a disgrace, you were avenged by a maniac on TV.

I had a four century empire just to carry on my legacy!

I tolerate your disrespect not, so I'll respond harshly:

Die like the rest of your clan. Beware the Ides of Harvey!

John F. Kennedy:
That's a low blow from the worst conqueror since Genghis Khan.

You had 2 shots, missed both, now you've crossed the Rubicon!

I'm turning your Tables in this fight, JFK sets the precedent,

While this dictation gets brought Decimation by the President.

Take this KIA down like the CIA had planned it.

Go Colossus on this petty man, wipe this ape off the planet.

New Rome's brought it home! I came, saw, and conquered!

Now I'm off! Jackie, tell my airport to start up Concorde.

Julius Caesar
Romans! Stand back! I myself shall take this pleb

Let the legions of legend watch as their leader leaves him dead

You have a lot of Gaul to step up to an emperor

Confrontations don’t end well for you, don’t you remember?

Well history remembers me, I have a month to my name

All you seem to be is a chump with a serious lack of change

I heard you Came-a-lot with Ms. Monroe, but not your wife

Too bad a single man went and ended your measly life

John F. Kennedy
Oh hey, it’s JFK, President of the USA

Representing Boston (Tea Partay!), against this Roman KIA

Julius is just jealous, I had more success than he ever did!

In three short years, my vast improvements were evident

And speaking of broads, why don’t I find your Cleo and seize her?

So Caesar has a seizure when upon her knees he sees her.

You don’t know Jack, man! You command without understanding

Your rhymes are Apollo-ing, but I just stuck the lunar landing!

Julius Caesar
Silence, slave! Your voice I am incapable of comprehending

I’m busy planning attacks on nations worth apprehending

I stand tall as Colossus, more brutal than Brutus

You’ll soon see your foolish insults with your puny words are useless

You don’t suit this! Go along now and invade some Bay of Pigs

A sleazy politician’s no match when up against the big-wigs

I’ve had it with your disrespect, so I shall respond harshly:

Go and die like the rest of your clan, beware the Ides of Harvey!

John F. Kennedy
That’s it! Now you’ve gone and crossed the river Rubicon

I’m coming at you full force! So call me Obi-Wan!

I saw, conquered, and came, was riding victory lane

When a sniper came and shot me down with critical aim

Now my name is engraved, got an airport named after me

You called yourself a god, but against me? Blasphemy!

You’re remembered for a backstab! You got power hungry!

It’s not what your country does for you, it’s what you do for your country!