Joseph Stalin vs Superman



Joseph Stalin vs Superman is the first installment of Overrated Rap Battles of Undetermined Quality (Oh God That Title Is Absurdly Long) and the first episode of Season 1. It features the iron-fisted Georgian dictator of the Soviet Union, Joseph Stalin, stepping to the Big Blue Boy Scout himself, Superman, to see which of the two polar opposite iconic figures is truly the 'Man of Steel'. It was released on January 3rd, 2015.

Superman:
It's a bird, it's a plane! No, it's something more insane.

It's me! That's right, it's real; Man of Steel saves the day!

Next time you torture citizens, watch out for your land,

'Cuz no man withstands Superman when he's Lenin a hand!

An energized Kryptonian, stare you down with my lasers.

You're a traumatized imitation Hitler who forgot a razor!

The Hall of Justice votes unanimous: eliminate this prick!

You've got less admirers than food to feed your kids!

You're metal scrap gettin' trashed in this rap, true fact.

Backstab your commie ass like a non-violence pact!

It's a True and Just smackdown when Supes enters the fray.

A joke like you beat me? There's no American Way!

Joseph Stalin:
Facing me, Clark? You're insane, trapped yourself in pain,

Which I'll rain on this Injustice like a famine in Ukraine!

Before I starve you to death faster than a speeding bullet,

Get your game on; wait, nobody wants that piece o' shit.

While you spit verbal crap tonight, I spit lyrical Kryptonite!

The Red Army's might rams this capitalist pig in tights!

Send Bat to the gulag, attacks to keep y'all up at night!

Even left the Bolsheviks with pant splats just from fright!

No one wanna go through me when Stalin's moody on duty.

Critic on your lyrics apalling as your fourth movie!

Make this cliche say touche, or today'll be his rued day,

When the KGB's OG gave him a taste of his Doomsday!

Superman:
From the fields of Smallville to the city of Metropolis,

There's no scenario where Red October could stop this.

Now it's up to Kal-El to swoop in and pop this

Dick-tator right in the mouth with a dropkick!

Let's end this, Josef. Your reign of Terror's all over.

I'll spit it to freeze you like it's the Winter Soldier!

Tryna' bring the heat with talk 'bout being weak to rocks?

You got killed from being stoned by one too many logs!

Joseph Stalin:
Breath? Please. My cold heart freezes serfs. Get 'em Purged!

Kneel before Stalin, or your Regime is ending up hurt.

Fuck your third Olsen twin, I'll do the photos on my own.

Such a failure, they had to fix yours with a derpy clone!

This God-fall to screw a mortal? That can't even be real!

I'm sick-le on the mic, hammer through your S-shield!

Man of Steel? Think again: better read my name through.

In Soviet Russia, the red sun becomes you!